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The Unexpected Silence from African Abroad Date's blog

Maya had always been a romantic at heart, the kind who believed in love stories that started with simple glances across the room. After months of bad dates, swiping left and right with little luck, she finally matched with someone who felt different. His name was Ben, a soft-spoken, kind guy who seemed to get her in a way that made her feel seen. Their conversations flowed effortlessly, filled with shared humor, late-night texts, and a mutual love for hiking and exploring new places.

After weeks of talking, they decided to meet in person. Maya spent hours picking the perfect outfit, rehearsing what to say in front of the mirror, excited yet nervous. They met at a cozy café downtown, the kind with warm lighting and a buzz of life in the air. When she saw Ben waiting by the door, smiling as she approached, her heart fluttered.

The date started beautifully. They talked for hours, laughing about childhood stories, trading travel experiences, and even diving into deep conversations about their hopes and fears. Maya felt a connection she hadn't felt in years. As they walked by the river after dinner, everything seemed to fall into place. The world felt right, and for a moment, she let herself believe that this could be the beginning of something special.

But then, it all went wrong.

The next day, she woke up to an empty inbox. No good morning text, no witty follow-up from Ben about the date. She told herself he was probably busy, but a nagging feeling settled in her chest. Days passed. The once lively conversations died into silence. Maya texted him a few times—simple messages, nothing too intense—just to check in. But her phone remained quiet.

Weeks later, when she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling, she finally reached out again, asking if everything was okay. This time, Ben replied with a short, cold message: "I don’t think this is going to work. Sorry."

That was it. No explanation, no closure. Maya was left staring at her phone, her heart sinking. She replayed the date in her mind, over and over, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong. They had laughed, connected, shared stories. So why did he disappear without a trace? Why did he lead her on, only to vanish?

The worst part wasn't losing Ben, a person she barely knew—it was the doubt creeping into her mind, the second-guessing of her own worth. Was she too much? Not enough? Had she misread everything? The silence hurt more than any rejection could.

For weeks, she carried the weight of that unanswered question. She went on more dates, but the excitement wasn't there anymore. It was as if something had dimmed inside her, a piece of her hope chipped away by someone who left without saying why.

It took a long time for Maya to realize that sometimes, people leave not because of something you did wrong, but because they weren't ready for what you had to offer. It hurt, deeply, but she learned that she deserved more than silence—she deserved someone who would stay, someone who would care enough to explain, or better yet, someone who wouldn’t leave at all.


You, yourself could be going or have gone through a similar experience, that left you questioning everything about you and wondering where you went wrong. Before you descend further down that path, allow me to tell you to please stop and take a moment to reflect. The fact that pigs have trampled over your pearls does not make you a bad or undeserving person. No. Pigs will always be pigs no matter what, and you, giving them your pearls won’t stop them from acting out their true nature. Value who you are and what you bring to the table, don’t beat yourself down over the shortcomings of the receiving end, if one thing, pick yourself up and go on resolute to choose better next time. You are worthy of everything good this life has to offer and so much more.

Michelle D.Y

 


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